Check My Sanity

Investigators said the 12-year-old was stopped for a traffic violation while she was pulling a blue minivan into her family’s driveway Wednesday and the girl told the officer she had just returned from dropping off her mother, Jennifer Rosenburg, 35, at Leon’s Steak House, the Longview News-Journal reported Friday.

Rosenburg, whose birthday was Wednesday, admitted to police that her daughter had driven her to the bar, officers said. She was arrested on child endangerment charges and jailed in lieu of $2,500 bond.

Police said the incident is also being investigated by Child Protective Services.

The penguin has long been the mascot of the King’s Guards of Norway, and in that role has risen through their ranks, starting out as a lowly lance corporal and eventually making it to colonel-in-chief, The Daily Telegraph reported.

But Friday, Nils Olav became Sir Nils Olav as 130 King’s guardsmen gathered at the Edinburgh Zoo to knight the penguin in a formal ceremony. The bird reportedly came out to inspect the troops and celebrated his peerage with some tasty dead fish.

The Telegraph said an earlier Nils Olav king penguin was first adopted by the Norwegian soldiers in 1962 and each successor has proudly worn the mantle of the regiment’s mascot.

Butch Behn, owner of Racetrack Supply in Rochester, Wash., placed the winning bids for the high-tech johns on eBay, The Seattle Times reported. The total price was $12,549, or from $1,625 to $4,899 per toilet, a city spokesman said.

“What a buy,” Behn said. “Wouldn’t you think it’s a really good deal, considering what they paid for them? It was a gift.”

Behn plans to set up two of the self-cleaning toilets at the South Sound Speedway in Tenino. He says he will re-sell two and may keep the fifth to scavenge for parts since he expects the toilets to be expensive to repair.

The toilets were installed in 2004 in popular tourist areas like Chinatown, the Pike Place Market and Pioneer Square. They were designed to open after a decent interval to keep drug users and prostitutes out — but they moved in anyway.

“May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa,” Mayor John Molony told The Australian.

Some young men in the town seemed dubious. Paul Woodlands, a 25-year-old construction worker, said the problem is that traditional women’s jobs in the town, like hairdressing, do not pay as well as the men’s jobs — or as well as they do in the big cities.

“I know a few women who have come out here to do hairdressing, but they left to go back to the coast because the pay was bad and there’s not much to do,” Woodlands said.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that
he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole.

He panicked and called the police to help him.

When doctors arrived on the scene they tried to release some of the pressure
by removing some of his blood, but the penis was so swollen that they ended up
having to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the
hospital.

Doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer, they would
have had to remove his penis.

For the dirty details, you’ll have to read the below Fort Wayne Police Department report, which notes that Miller is apparently handy with a claw hammer and some motor oil. Miller, pictured in the mug shot at right, was arrested on a felony indecency charge. A neighbor told cops that Miller was “not right” and parades around naked “24/24.” (3 pages)

Transit and parks officials said the goats, which were employed as an eco-friendly way to control vegetation growth at Fort Wadsworth, shimmied under the chain-link fence and remained unnoticed in the restricted area until they were seen by a Bridge and Tunnel officer in a guard booth, the New York Daily News reported Tuesday.

“The goats were taken into custody and turned over to the Army once it was determined not to be illegal aliens or agents of terror,” a source told the Daily News.