Sep 22
aww, hell. There are so many shots with names that fit this story so well, aren’t there?

clipped from www.upi.com
Deputies nab nude bartender
Published: Sept. 21, 2008 at 10:38 AM
DELHI, Ill., Sept. 21 (UPI) — Illinois sheriff’s deputies got an unexpected eyeful during a routine bar check last week — the female bartender was allegedly pouring stiff ones in the nude.

Authorities in Jersey County say deputies were checking up on the Cabin Tavern in Delhi, Ill., 35 miles north of St. Louis Thursday afternoon when they walked in and allegedly found bartender Janet Brannon tending bar minus clothing, the Alton (Ill.) Telegraph reported.

Since Brannon, 33, of East Alton, Ill., was the only employee present, deputies closed the bar and arrested her on an outstanding warrant from Jerseyville, the newspaper said. She was charged with public indecency and jailed on $8,000 bond, prosecutors said.

“In addition to the charges against the bartender, the county will also seek charges against the owners of the Cabin Tavern,” Jersey County State’s Attorney Ben Goetten told the Telegraph.

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Sep 22
but then again, I often take tea with my cows, too.
clipped from www.upi.com
Farmer: Mooing at cows beneficial
Published: Sept. 21, 2008 at 5:59 PM
EXETER, England, Sept. 21 (UPI) — A farmer in the English county of Devon says he has been able to boost his cows’ milk production by simply mooing at them.

Farmer Graham Vallis said by conducting a meditative mooing session with his cows for five minutes before each milking session, he has been able to increase the amount of milk he gets from them, The Sun reported Saturday.

Vallis said he accidentally happened upon the technique during a routine tea break.

“I often take my tea break with my cows, but on one occasion suddenly I became deeply relaxed,” he said.

“I realized it was the mooing. I started mooing in time and they crowded round like the Pied Piper,” he added, referring to the mythical character who could lead rats with music.

The Sun said Vallis’s advice has been heeded by the Federation of Organic Milk Groups, which has passed along the recommendation to its 450 members.
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Sep 18
clipped from news.yahoo.com

AP

Man acquitted in Aug. accused of robbing same bank
Wed Sep 17, 7:28 PM ET

JONESBORO, Ark. – A man acquitted a month ago of robbing a bank has been arrested in another robbery at the same bank. The man, 35, was accused of robbing Liberty Bank on Tuesday, police say.
The man was acquitted Aug. 21 of robbing the bank last October after employees could not positively identify him during his trial.
In another case, the man faces charges of aggravated assault and aggravated robbery in the beating of an elderly woman inside the downtown post office last fall. Police said he stole the woman’s purse and her car.
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Sep 18
Preferably one that doesn’t involve 911
clipped from www.upi.com

Man phones police from museum vent shaft

Published: Sept. 17, 2008 at 11:18 PM
KNOXVILLE, Tenn., Sept. 17 (UPI) — Police in Knoxville, Tenn., say a man has been arrested for burglary after he phoned authorities and told them he was stuck in a museum ventilation shaft.

Knoxville police said Anthony Smith, 25, called 911 shortly before 4:30 a.m. Wednesday and told the dispatcher he was wedged in the ventilation system at the Knoxville Museum of Art, WBIR-TV in Knoxville reported.

Police and firefighters arrived at the museum to find Smith wedged 40 feet down a ventilator shaft but investigators said they are unsure of how he could have gotten onto the building’s roof.

Authorities said nothing was disturbed inside the museum. However, Smith was arrested on the burglary charge after being extracted from the tight space.
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Sep 15
clipped from www.upi.com

Police: Fleeing woman ran herself over

Published: Sept. 15, 2008 at 1:39 PM
JACKSONVILLE, Fla., Sept. 15 (UPI) — A 63-year-old woman attempting to flee from police officers in Baker County, Fla., accidentally ran herself over with her own van, police allege.
Baker County Sheriff Joey Dobson said when Mary B. Davis allegedly attempted to leave the scene of a domestic dispute call in her van, she crashed into a riding lawnmower and fell from her vehicle, the (Jacksonville) Florida Times-Union said Monday.
After falling out of her moving car Sunday afternoon, Davis was run over by the vehicle and sustained non-life-threatening injuries, Dobson said.
Dobson alleged the accident happened a moment after Davis nearly struck a deputy with her vehicle as the officer was standing by the vehicle’s open driver’s door. The deputy was able to jump away from the moving vehicle and avoid injury, the sheriff said.
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Sep 15

Especially if you’re a Darwin award candidate.

clipped from www.upi.com
Man dangled from building for an hour

Published: Sept. 15, 2008 at 6:12 PM
NEW YORK, Sept. 15 (UPI) — New York police say a man who tried to help a relative who had locked herself out of her apartment wound up dangling by her sixth-story window ledge.
Police said the man, whose name was not released, used a rope to lower himself from the roof of the building but found the window he had planned to enter was locked and he was unable to climb the rope back to the roof, the New York Post reported Monday.

Officers said the man was dangling for more than an hour before they arrived, forced their way into the apartment and helped him in the window.

The building superintendent said the man was the brother of the apartment tenant while police said he was the tenant’s son.
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Sep 15
Umm…..
icon1 PirateGirl | icon2 Celebrity, News, United States | icon4 09 15th, 2008| icon3No Comments »
clipped from abclocal.go.com
Nice kitty, kitty, kit…. EWWwww!

Monday, September 15, 2008 | 12:34 PM

When you think of pets, you probably don’t think of skunks.

AP

MOUNT CARMEL, Pa. (AP) – September 15, 2008 —
A Pennsylvania woman who thought she was petting a neighbor’s cat got a smelly surprise when it turned out to be a skunk.
Not only did the skunk spray the woman before dawn Monday, but it ran into her Mount Carmel home. Police were called to the home to try to remove the animal, but well over an hour later, they were still trying.
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Sep 15

Teacher OK after crashing into bear on a bicycle – Yahoo! News

Teacher OK after crashing into bear on a bicycle

Wed Sep 10, 11:17 PM ET

MISSOULA, Mont. – A middle school teacher suffered some bruising and a big scratch on his back after he struck a bear while riding his bicycle to school.

Jim Litz said he was traveling about 25 mph Monday morning when he came upon a rise and spotted a black bear about 10 feet in front of him. He didn’t have time to stop and T-boned the bruin.

He tumbled over the handlebars, his helmet hit the bear’s back and the two went cartwheeling down the road.

The bear rolled over Litz’s head, cracking his helmet, and scratched his back before scampering up a hill above the road.

Litz’s wife drove by shortly after the crash and took her husband to the hospital. He hoped to be able to return to teaching science at Target Range Middle School on Friday.

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Sep 15
clipped from news.yahoo.com

AP

Lewd vandal leaves greasy imprints on Neb. town
Fri Sep 12, 11:32 AM ET

By NATE JENKINS, Associated Press Writer

VALENTINE, Neb. – Boy, how people here wish their busiest vandal would find another way to make his mark. Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind — sometimes his groin, sometimes both — on windows. Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.
“This is the weirdest case I’ve ever seen,” said police Chief Ben McBride.
Some residents of Valentine, a town of about 2,650 people, find some humor in the strange vandalism and have taken to calling the perpetrator the “Butt Bandit.” But they also can’t help but cringe when finding his marks.
“We were completely grossed out,” said Kalli Kieborz, who works in a downtown building. “One day I walked into the office and an employee said, ‘Oh, my God, we’ve been struck!’”
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The police chief is far from amused.

“It’s not funny,” McBride said. “We’re worried about the next step.”

It started in spring 2007, when the window of a Methodist church was greased with an imprint. McBride figured it was a high school prank. But the church kept getting hit, even after police staked it out.

The bandit struck business after business, window after window last summer.

Then he — and maybe, McBride said, copycat vandals — stopped over the fall and winter.

“People said he was done,” McBride said. “Then he started back up this summer.”

During one particularly brazen session, virtually all the windows at a local hotel were imprinted.

McBride said no one has reported seeing the vandal in action. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year.

The man was 6-feet-tall or slightly taller, and slender. He had a dark complexion, and McBride said the man’s dark hair was styled in a “1980s, feathered look.”

Valentine, in remote north-central Nebraska, promotes itself as “The Heart City.” Downtown sidewalks are painted with hearts, and locals encourage people from around the country to send their Valentine’s Day cards to the local post office so they can be mailed out with the word “Valentine” stamped on them.

“This is not normal behavior for Valentine,” Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said. “It’s not funny or something people want to be exposed to.”

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Sep 14
But at the end…. doesn’t it just seem like they were out to get him for SOMETHING?
clipped from www.upi.com

Court blames apartment fire on dog

Published: Sept. 11, 2008 at 4:29 PM
HELSINGBORG, Sweden, Sept. 11 (UPI) — A Swedish court has acquitted a man of arson charges after ruling the fire that destroyed his apartment was caused by his pet dog.
The court ruled the apartment fire in Helsingborg, which raised arson flags after investigators found three stove burners had been left on to the maximum settings and some paper and a popcorn machine had been atop the stove, was likely caused when Butler, the 30-year-old man’s dog, attempted to scale the stove to retrieve a plate of cookies that had been left on top of the appliance, The Local reported Thursday.
However, the 30-year-old man received a 2-month prison sentence after it emerged during trial that he had been driving a car without a license.
“Ugh, this is so embarrassing,” the man said after the trial.
Butler, the man’s cat and two pet hamsters were killed in the fire.
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