Check My Sanity

The livestock should have been logged into the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs’ tracking system but something went wrong, The Daily Telegraph reported Monday.

“Laptops, data and now cows, is there anything this government cannot misplace?” asked Peter Ainsworth, the Shadow Environment secretary. “Defra’s performance would do credit to Little Bo Peep.”

The cattle tracing system was set up to protect the public and animals after the mad cow and foot and mouth epidemics.

Last week Britain’s Ministry of Defense revealed a computer hard drive with the private details of 100,000 members of the Armed Forces was missing.

In August, a memory stick containing data on all prisoners in England and Wales was lost by a Home Office contractor.

Farmer Graham Vallis said by conducting a meditative mooing session with his cows for five minutes before each milking session, he has been able to increase the amount of milk he gets from them, The Sun reported Saturday.

Vallis said he accidentally happened upon the technique during a routine tea break.

“I often take my tea break with my cows, but on one occasion suddenly I became deeply relaxed,” he said.

“I realized it was the mooing. I started mooing in time and they crowded round like the Pied Piper,” he added, referring to the mythical character who could lead rats with music.

The Sun said Vallis’s advice has been heeded by the Federation of Organic Milk Groups, which has passed along the recommendation to its 450 members.